One of my guilty pleasures is the Real Housewives TV shows. It’s totally trash TV and it’s just fun to watch something so mindless and dumb. That being said the BEST is definitely Real Housewives of New Jersey because they have so much crazy going on. I also enjoy watching the dynamics of the marriages on RONJ because they really treat their husbands like kings, and I think in general we could all use a little more of that in our marriages. NOT A LOT MORE. Just a little :).
So I stumbled upon this awesome series another blogger did where she tried out all the advice Melissa Gorga gives out in her book Love, Italian Style: The Secrets To My Hot and Happy Marriage. I mean, the book got a whopping 2/5 stars on Amazon so it must be good. Regardless, The Naughty Mommy‘s trial of the advice given is pretty hilarious, especially if you watch RONJ.
Here’s a sample:
I woke up nice and refreshed on Day 3 of The Melissa Gorga Experiment. I again set out breakfast and coffee for N, and he again seemed confused.
That morning, I took both kids to visit my husband’s grandmother for lunch. Then we went to his parents’ house for dinner. (After all, I didn’t want Johnny the Greek to start tweeting that I don’t spend time with my in-laws.)
During our time apart, I tried my best at seduction via cellphone, a.k.a. “sexting.”
One of Melissa Gorga’s tips for “Seduction Italian Style” is to “give good sext.” Melissa writes that she sends Joe “a flirty text while he’s at work once or twice a week.” This is to keep the passion alive.
My problem, like many women I’m sure, is that the end of the day FINALLY comes and what do I want? To crawl. into. bed.
Not to have sex. To sleep. Especially because I know I will be woken up in anywhere from 3-7 hours by one or two children. So, for me, I wasn’t interested in keeping the passion alive. I was interested in killing the passion (by wearing my blue robe) and maximizing my sleep.
But this is not what husbands want, says Melissa. “Marriage without passion isn’t marriage. It’s friendship.”
So I started sexting.
Here is my attempt from Day 1:
And here is my attempt from Day 3:
Both times, I was ignored.
Following yesterday’s failed sexting, I said to N, “Why don’t you respond to my sexts?” Him: “You need to look up the definition of a sext, ’cause that ain’t it.”
Maybe I’m supposed to include something about the underwear I have on in the sext, like “Guess which color granny panties I’m wearing today?” or “Hey, I’ve got my black bra on right now…you know, the one with NO milk stains. Wink.”
So I’ll have to keep trying with the sexting or figure out some other way to ignite the passion. Finally getting my shower yesterday should help.
Find the original post here.
Find the rest of the series here.